The Intersection of Personality and Referrals

When people first meet me (through my videos or in person) and hear me talk about referrals I typically receive comments like “You’re so passionate.”  Or “You can tell this topic gets you excited – your energy is contagious.”

Which is sometimes followed by this question.

“Stacey, I’m not you.  I don’t have your personality. Will that hurt my chances in generating referrals?”


Well actually – ABSOLUTELY NOT!

[After reading this article, check out the Stacey Brown Randall Live Show (Episode 5) where I go in more depth about personality and referrals and why the intersection between them may not be what you think.]

But it is a legitimate question – how much does personality play into getting referrals?

Let me answer it for you.

The only part of your “personality” that plays into receiving referrals is you being authentic.  Authenticity is key in the process because referrals only come from relationships and relationships are built on trust.  You can’t have a strong relationship with someone if you aren’t authentic and genuine.  In fact, being authentic is one of the 3 Platinum Principles™ you need to honor and not violate when you build your referral generating strategy.

[Read: Referral Platinum Principles that Can’t be Disregarded]

And to be authentic you have to be you.  You can’t be anyone else.

Whether that is bubbly and energetic or stoic and reserved.  Shy or outgoing.  Loud or quiet.

Now don’t get me wrong…regardless of your personality you must be able to connect with your referral sources (or potential referral sources) and build relationships with them.

Because…referrals come from relationships with our referral sources and those relationships are built through connections.  When we focus on connecting with our referral sources, we can look for things in common, look for ways to help them, stay top of mind through outreach, and we always show we care with a simple “how are you?”

So, figure out how best you connect and honor it and allow it to guide the experiences you create.  But when I say connect, I don’t mean email.  I mean really build relationships, whether that is local or long distance. Here are some examples of how I connect.

Local: grab coffee or lunch, invite to a networking or charity event, send a card or note, connect them to someone they want to meet or should meet.  Take time to really get to know them by listening to what they share.  We are all looking to connect and to know people care about what we have to say, so pay attention.

Long Distance: You have to be willing to be a little more intentional about people who live out of town because you can’t just grab coffee with them.  Here are some things I have done.  I joined a mastermind about 6 or 7 years ago with four other women.  I kept in touch – kind of – but not really, so when I found myself going to San Diego about a year after the mastermind ended to speak at a conference where one of the women lived, I reached out and we grabbed dinner.  Fast forward six years later – I was back in San Diego, reached out again and we met up for dinner again.  We may be able to do some joint business together coming up so keeping in touch was beneficial.

But what if you might never meet the people in person who are long distance?  This definitely happens for me too.  I look for ways to connect personally so people are more likely to remember me and I am more likely to remember them.  When you share parts of you – particularly the personal side – you become more memorable and meaningful.

What you must accept and be okay with is that you can’t let you get in your own way when it comes to connecting with your referral sources and potential referral sources.  If you want to unleash the referral explosion you deserve you can’t put off connecting because you are too busy.  You can’t say, “well I’m not like ___________ or don’t do __________” so connecting and in turn generating referrals aren’t an option for me.  Self-limiting talk is not a good strategy.  You actually won’t know what works for you until you try.

And another thing…you may have to push yourself out of your default comfort zone when it comes to connecting but that will be a good thing.  Getting uncomfortable is usually what it takes to grow… just don’t attempt to change who you are at your core.

 Because YOU are awesome!

So, let me help you create a simple plan of connecting.  Download my freebie which will very simply take you from thinking about doing this to actually making it happen.  In fact, the freebie – the Simple Connection Plan – will guide you to take action within 60 days.


Download Now


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